<blockquote><font size="1" face="Arial, Helvetica ,sans-serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Temple Stark: It's too long. The twist is the last two words (obviously) "young prostitutes."<p>"teenage" would be a stronger word there. If they are not teenage, then "pre-teen" would be even stronger. I would eliminate the first sentence entirely. It should/could be:<p>Rika listlessly leafs through fashion magazines, its pages wilt in the humid air. The short, smiling blonde jostles for space in a back room with other teenage prostitutes.<p>[or whatever she is] I'm one to love alliteration - but there's too much here. templestark.com<hr></blockquote><p>Uh, wtf are you talking about?
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